When you fear losing control around food, the scariest thing about Halloween isn’t the ghosts.
It’s candy!
I get it. The conversations you have in your head sound something like this:
“Should I have a piece of candy?”
“No. Because if I start, I’ll never stop.”
“I’ve been so good lately. I made a deal with myself, so no candy tonight.”
Three minutes later.
“Should I have a piece of candy?”
“Okay, two pieces won’t hurt me. Then I’m done.
And the seal is cracked. It’s hard to stop. You eat more.
Your brain says, “You’ve already messed up. Throw in the towel for tonight. Why not finish the whole bowl?”
You go to bed feeling physically uncomfortable with that punch-you-in-the-gut sense of disgust and shame. You feel like you’ve failed yet again.
I get it.
But now I’m here to support you.
Let’s walk through it together.
I have some things you can try.
You might consider reframing success and failure.
What if we define success as tapping into the joy of the delicious candy over the guilt? Even for five minutes. Could we call that success?
Why this is a better approach.
When shame runs around your brain unattended, it’s like the Tasmanian Devil.
It’s clumsy and careless, knocking over your confidence and smashing your hope. It leaves you with a sense of disarray, like you don’t even know where to start the clean-up .
We can allow shame to be there, but this year, don’t leave it unsupervised.
What if, amid the shame, we allow joy too? Joy is an elevated emotion that acts like a chaperone for shame. It doesn’t let it fly out of control.
Part of why you’re eating the candy is because it’s yummy. So let yourself experience the yummy!
Notice the other things that are so joyful about Halloween.
The super cute kid costumes.
Maybe your super cute kids.
Does anyone else here like dressing their dogs up in costumes? My chihuahua is dressing up as a tiger tonight.
Success is if you can stay with the joy even just a little bit.
What if you still feel physically and emotionally uncomfortable afterward?
I get it. This is hard work, and progress is incremental. If you took the time to feel the joy, I want to celebrate that with you. It took some serious courage.
